I’m a sue you, says Donald Trump to Ted Cruz, and Cruz says bring it on

Home*I’m a sue you, says Donald Trump to Ted Cruz, and Cruz says bring it on


The Donald, a ripe plunderer with the real time moniker of Donald Trump, says he is going to sue Ted Cruz if the Cuban-Amurican-Canadian senator does not quit lying about him.

The cease and desist order stems from Cruz’s constant haranguing of The Donald, because The Donald is running for president of the USA. Cruz says Trump is unworthy of the position and adds that there is no place in American politics for the likes of Donald Trump because Donald Trump is a liberal, disguising as a tea bagging bigot and rat-arse Republican.

Donald is not supposed to be pro-life, pro gay marriage, pro health care, pro medicare, pro social assistance or pro poor. He is supposed to, says Cruz, hate immigrants, hate spongers (the poor), hate liberals, hate abortion, hate Syrians and Islamic people, hate pussy gun control freaks and also, of course, Donald is supposed to deny that climate change has anything to do with the human encroachment on the planet earth.

Donald Trump says that Cruz is lying.

Donald Trump says he has forsaken all of his liberal ideas because the GOP will not elect a guy who has or seems to have an ounce of “fucking compassion” for the poor, the stricken, the needy and the gay.

“I used to be pro-life, but I’m not anymore,” says Trump. “I used to say that gays should be allowed to marry, but I’m not like that anymore. Ted Cruz is using my past against me, and that’s just plain wrong, dirty politics and stupid, stupid, stupid. So I’m handing him this order to cease and desist from bringing up my past. I am not now nor have I ever been a liberal, in the strictest sense of that word.”

“Intolerance is the backbone of the new GOP,” says Cruz. “Donald Trump has shown tolerance and compassion in the past and I’M TELLING THE WORLD THAT TOLERANCE HAS NO PLACE IN THE REPUBLICAN ethos today,” says Cruz. “If Donald Trump is telling to that he’s anti-gay and anti-abortion and anti-Obamacare or any health care? He’s lying.

“I look at Donald Trump and I see a man that wants to help people, who likes single-payer health care, likes gays and has some creepy notion that the poor should be housed. So fuck that guy. He’s denying this and I’m calling him a pussy-faced liar. He’s a compassionate guy!

“And we all know that means that he’s not a true Republican!”

Yes, Donald Trump has been slandered. The same guy who wants to ban all Islamic immigrants and send 11 million Mexicans home is a goddamn bleeding heart liberal.

There is no logic in a world where this kind of sniping and snideness is allowed to prosper.

Someone find a judge.

We need to settle this … now!

By |February 18th, 2016|Columns, Humor, Rants|0 Comments

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