9USA residents running from a Trump presidency will be blocked by an electronic wall from entering Canada
SEAMUS O’BRADAIGH – O’Bradaigh Matters
One of the lesser publicized decisions voted and approved at the recent Liberal Party caucus concerned the construction of a wall that will act as an embargo to American citizens fleeing to Canada to escape a Donald Trump presidency.
‘It’s not a wall, wall,” said Leon Brickshedder, the Liberal foreign affairs guru. ”The wall we’re talking about looks like the towered barrier that you may remember from Lost. The towers are spaced in 50 meter intervals and they … well, let’s just say that they pack a wallop.”
He explained that the towers can be programmed to stun, incapacitate or in Def Con 1 situations – say President Trump issues a pogrom on liberal arts students – the towers, just as in Lost could be programmed to kill.
”We expect that we will never have to upgrade the tower structure to anything bigger than a knock down stun, because let’s face it the people who will be making a run for the border when Trump assumes power will consist mostly of a fairly fragile professorial socialist elite. They’re scared of Donald Trump and no offense, but if a wimp like Trump scares them? You can bet that a modest thump of ectromagnetic particles coursing through their neural cavity will keep them off our property.”
Meanwhile Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said that the construction of the towers, a project that can be accessed within 48 hours of a Trump win, would fall under the aegis of a federal infrastructure strategy that would kill two bald eagles with one stone.
‘It’ll create 30,000 well paying jobs and it will serve to keep our borders safe from the immediate infiltration of unwanted American asylum seekers,” said Trudeau.
‘We’ve committed to taking in legitimate refugees from third world countries devastated by genocidal maniacs and until a President Trump actually engages in the killing of American citizens, and I don’t see that happening until his second term, well, we just can’t afford to take in American citizens running scared from a presumed fate.”
Trudeau said that Canada will accept legitimate asylum requests from US citizens who fear for their quality of life.
‘Educated American citizens who feel that their lives would be unmanageable under a Trump presidency may apply for refugee status if they can present medical evidence that the Trump presidency is causing them to become suicidal or if they have for instance rolled up into the fetal position, or if their panic attacks have made their existence a living horror,” explained Trudeau.
”But we want to stress to all Americans contemplating a run for the border without proper paperwork that our wall will be in place and all intruders will be subject to cranial mayhem and none of us want that.”
Brickshedder added that all towers and electromagnetic support systems will be and are being manufactured in Canada at secure facilities.
”In fact we have had calls from members of the Donald Trump Enterprises group asking for information regarding the purchase of the system, presumably with an eye toward an installation in the southern states,” said Brickshedder.
‘Talk about a win win for Canada eh?”